{BREAKING NEWS} Steve Jobs steps down as Apple CEO

beep-beep-beeeeep-beep-beep-beep (or however that news sound goes…)

This is hot off the Reuters news wire: Steve Jobs stepped down as Apple’s CEO and has been named Apple’s Chairman.  Steve’s been off sick, and drawing up blueprints for his spaceship recently, and aparently he realizes that Apple is tanking (again) and he’s jumping ship (again).  Tim Cook has been elected Apple’s new CEO.

I can’t say I dislike Steve Jobs, I’m not happy that he’s sick or anything, but I think his patent trolling, and control issues are childish, and his attempts to monopolize the mobile community and brain wash Apple product users into believing that they have “the cool” should be a slap in the face to all that use Apple products.

Get well soon, Steve, but DON’T COME BACK!

Source: Reuters

 

UPDATE:  Here’s Steve’s letter to the Board:

 

To the Apple Board of Directors and the Apple Community:

I have always said if there ever came a day when I could no longer meet my duties and expectations as Apple’s CEO, I would be the first to let you know. Unfortunately, that day has come.
I hereby resign as CEO of Apple. I would like to serve, if the Board sees fit, as Chairman of the Board, director and Apple employee.

As far as my successor goes, I strongly recommend that we execute our succession plan and name Tim Cook as CEO of Apple.

I believe Apple’s brightest and most innovative days are ahead of it. And I look forward to watching and contributing to its success in a new role.
I have made some of the best friends of my life at Apple, and I thank you all for the many years of being able to work alongside you.

Steve